


in a heartbeat

by bipolaryangxiaolong (rosesandcinnamon)



Series: wings of wax [4]
Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-03 18:19:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandcinnamon/pseuds/bipolaryangxiaolong
Summary: She sits up, slow, afraid of every shadowy corner in her bedroom. It should be easy to get her phone, unplug it, unlock it, and call her. It isn’t.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before [brittle bones](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12679932)! Though a multichapter, this fic will be short, and I can't promise regular updates. I just wanted to get something out. The chapter count is tentative.

She wakes already in tears. Her whole body is frozen and leadened with fear, she can’t breathe, and she thinks the worst part might be that she is cold and numb and what part of her wants is to physically hurt the way she does emotionally. The thought of _I want Yang_ passes through her mind, and she sobs into her pillow at the thought. It’s not a want. It’s a need. She sits up, slow, afraid of every shadowy corner in her bedroom. It should be easy to get her phone, unplug it, unlock it, and call her. It isn’t. Her hands are absolutely trembling, the worst kind of adrenaline in her veins.

Blake doesn’t even consider the time when she finally presses Yang’s contact. She waits, curling into herself, as she listens to the phone ring. Heart dropping, she’s about to hang up when Yang answers.

“Blake?” she says, voice slow and soft, obviously still mostly asleep. Just knowing she’s there, just knowing she picked up in the middle of the night is soothing for Blake.

“Hey, um,” and she doesn’t even get through a proper sentence before she sobs, God, she’s such a wreck.

“What’s wrong?” Yang’s speech is suddenly crystal clear, completely awake, and Blake tries to catch a breath.

The words spill out of her. “It’s- I had a bad dream, and it’s stupid, and _I’m_ stupid, but I need you.”

“You’re not stupid,” is Yang’s first response, followed with “Do you want me to come over or to stay on the phone?” Blake’s voice breaks as she asks her to come over; Yang blessedly doesn’t mention it. “Then I’ll come over.” She says it so simply, as if it’s not a school night, as if she couldn't be caught after curfew, as if their parents wouldn’t care if they found out she snuck out.

“Your car, though,” Blake manages to say, and Yang’s response is soft.

“I can take my old bike.”

The surety in her tone, the absolute care and concern she’s showing, it all makes Blake want to break down even more. She can even picture Yang getting out of bed, tiptoeing out of her room- how does she deserve someone even remotely like this?

“Sweetheart, I have to put jeans on and get out of here, can I let you go? I promise I’ll be over as quick as I can be.”

Blake swallows down a whine at the thought of hanging up. “Yeah, okay,” she says, and regains a little clarity. “I’ll open my window.”

“Thank you. I’ll be right there, Blake, I love you.”

“Love you too,” she chokes out, taking the phone away from her cheek and hanging up.

 

Yang is half asleep as she stumbles out of her shorts and into jeans, yawning as she sneaks into the garage, bleary-eyed as she tugs her bike through the side door.  The bike is old, yellow paint weathered, the light on the back cracked, her legs too long as she sits down on it. None of it matters. Yang kicks the stand up and starts to pedal, going down the street. She knows the calendar says March, but the night feels nothing like spring. She didn’t bother to put on a proper shirt or jacket or anything over her tank top, so the wind stings her bare arms as she picks up speed. She wishes she could have just taken her car, but with Qrow around, it was too risky. He’s an insomniac like her, and would have no qualms about ratting her out to her dad.

The ride to Blake’s house is short, but it feels like forever with the weight of the worry in Yang’s mind. She’s aware Blake has gone through _something_ , but its nature is still a mystery to her. However, she has one or two suspicions. She puts the thoughts away for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good old "meeting the parents" stuff :')
> 
> If the first line confuses you, reread the last lines of the first chapter please. Sorry for how choppy that transition is :(

The thoughts persist, despite Yang's best efforts. Her suspicions are founded on several factors. The first is that Mr. and Mrs. Belladonna don’t like her very much.

* * *

 

“Yang?” Blake’s voice was hesitant, almost reluctant. 

“Yeah?”

“Wanna meet my parents?”

Her question was met with quiet shock. “What?” Blake showed her the screen of her phone, eyes downcast. It read:

[Blake: I’m with Yang, what time do you want me home?]

[Mom: Would she like to have dinner with us?]

[Blake: I’ll ask.]

[Mom: Bring her.]

“That’s not a question,” Yang whispered. Blake nodded. 

“I can make up an excuse for you,” she offered, fingers tapping on her phone case. 

“No, um, it’s okay.” Yang made eye contact with her, gaining confidence. “I can come over. It’ll be fine.” The confidence was vaguely shaky still and she sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well as Blake. 

“You don’t  _ have _ to-”

“I want to,” Yang interrupted. “It’s okay.” Blake bit into her lower lip, gaze full of uncertainty lingering on her before texting a reply. 

After checking with Tai, the two got ready to go to Blake’s house. In an attempt to ease Blake’s anxiety, Yang offered to let her do her makeup. It brightened her expression, and that’s all Yang wanted. 

The question burnt in her mind the entire time, even with Blake’s gentle touches and focused actions. It was finally voiced when Blake was almost done.

“Are they gonna like me?” Yang asked, bouncing on her toes, slowly easing back down when Blake gave her a stern look.

“Of course they will,” Blake promised. “Let me finish this and then we’ll go, okay?” She carefully applied sheer gloss to Yang’s lips, giving soft instructions as she went. When she was done with that, she whispered “Okay, one last thing, close your eyes,” and when Yang did so, Blake kissed her- a fleeting touch of their lips. Even so, the affection surprised her. When they looked at each other, Yang was blushing. Blake loved the expression on her face, loved the dumb smile, loved the blush that betrayed her cocky personality. But the kiss did mess up her lip gloss a little. Blake made a sound of disappointment and fixed it. “Okay, I’m done,” she said, stepping away.  

“Am I pretty now?” 

The giggle made it obviously a joke, but Blake couldn’t help but reply honestly. 

“You’re always pretty.” 

Yang’s lilac eyes fixated on her, and it was Blake’s turn to blush. “Thanks,” Yang said, sounding touched. She got up to look in the mirror, beaming at her reflection. “Man, this stuff is magic.” Blake smiled, pleased at how Yang was still surprised when she had done her makeup several times before. 

Blake gathered her things, Yang yelling a goodbye to her family, Blake calling a quieter version. Her school bag was still in Yang’s car and the wintry weather was enough to deter them from walking. They were quiet in the car, both nervous. 

“You’re sure they’ll like me?” Yang wasn’t looking at her, eyes set firmly on the road. 

Blake’s momentary silence was terrifying. “I hope so,” she whispered.

“That’s comforting.” Yang tried to laugh, but the sound just made the tension worse. Blake didn’t even reply until Yang pulled up to the sidewalk outside of her house.

“Yang?”

Putting the car in park, she glanced at her. “Yeah?”

“It doesn’t matter if they like you, because I like you.” Blake’s voice trembled, and Yang didn’t know why, but she leaned across to kiss her cheek anyway. Blake smiled (though weak, it was still a smile) and they got out of the car, Yang taking her bag before she could protest.

“Hey,” Blake called as they went into the house. Yang stayed quiet and close to her, until they ran into her mom, waiting in her office’s doorway.

Her first observation was that Kali Belladonna was the spitting image of her daughter in thirty years. Her second was that those golden eyes were cold and wary; she hoped Blake would never look at her like that. 

“Hi, Mrs. Belladonna,” Yang said with a smile that belied her anxiety. “I’m Yang. It’s nice to meet you!” She offered her hand.

“Hi, Yang,” Kali replied, taking it. “It’s nice to meet you too.” Yang’s been told she’s got a good handshake, but the way Kali gripped her hand was a little intimidating. “How are you today?”

They chatted for a little while. Yang was overwhelmingly aware of the need to make a good first impression. She knew she was good at being likeable, but the way Kali was actively sizing her up was nerve wracking. Blake hovered nervously, watching over their conversation.

When they reached a lull, she dived in, taking a step closer to Yang. “Mom, do you know when dinner will be ready?”

Kali gave her an even look, seeing straight through her. “I don’t know, your father’s cooking tonight. Why don’t you go ask?”

Blake smiled awkwardly, nodding, and turned to go down the hallway. Yang followed, hissing “Am I doing okay?” once out of Kali’s earshot.

“I don’t know!” Blake replied in the same low tone, looking back to make sure her mom wasn’t looking before squeezing Yang’s hand. They turned the corner to go into the kitchen, and oh God, if Yang thought Kali was intimidating, Ghira was much more so.

Yang was used to her stature- on the taller side around girls, more average around boys- but next to Ghira, she felt absolutely tiny. He turned at the sound of their feet on the tile and smiled at his daughter. Then his gaze fell on Yang, and she felt even smaller.

“Hi, Dad,” Blake said. “This is Yang.”

“Hi!” She kept her voice light and pleasant, despite the pit in her stomach.

“So this is the girl you’ve been spending so much time with?” Blake nodded. “Hmm.” He cast another glance at Yang before continuing to cook. The girls stared at each other for a second, sharing similar panicky feelings, before Yang swallowed the emotion down and put a smile on her face.

“Whatever you’re cooking smells delicious, Mr. Belladonna. Can I help with anything?”

“No, Yang, you’re fine. Blake, will you set the table?”

“Yeah.”

The next few minutes were spent with Blake setting the table, Yang trying to help but mostly feeling useless, and Ghira at the stove. Finally, Ghira sent Blake to fetch her mother, leaving him alone with Yang. She sat at the table, hands twisted together in her lap. It felt rude to pull out her phone, but the atmosphere was so awkward.

“Yang. You’re in the same grade as Blake, right?” His question was simple, yet it felt loaded.

“Um. Yeah,” she replied.

“Do you like school?”

“I mean, I’m not the best, but yeah, I do.” She cringed at her own nervous habits- she hated it when she rambled. 

“That’s good. Planning on college?” He sounded non-judgemental, but she knew he wouldn’t like her answer.

“Oh, uh, I might take a year off…”

“Why?”

Blessedly, Kali and Blake came into the dining room, distracting Ghira. She watched the three of them interact happily; it was nice to see Blake smile. She sat down next to Yang, pressing close to her “accidentally” before settling into her chair. It was comforting yet painfully obvious, and Yang avoided looking at either Kali or Ghira. 

Dinner, thankfully, wasn’t terrible. Yang complimented the cooking, Ghira looked pleased, Kali and Blake gave each other meaningful glances. Once they were done, Blake stood up to clear the plates. Yang stood up with her.

“Blake, let me help you.”

“Oh, okay.” The two of them cleaned up as the elder Belladonnas watched. Once the dishes had been collected, Blake’s tone was gentle as she said “Yang, you don’t have to help me. It’s fine.”

“I want to,” Yang protested. “Please?”

Blake’s lips quirked into a smile. “Okay,” she said, so desperately wishing she could kiss her.

Later that night, when Yang was long gone, Blake heard her parents talking in their low “Blake shouldn’t hear this” voices. She, of course, threw her blankets aside and rushed to her door, pressing close to listen to as much as possible.

“...that Yang girl?” Her father’s rumble was unmistakable, but she hadn’t caught the first part. 

“I think I like her,” her mother replied. “She’s certainly sweet.” Blake nearly collapsed in relief. “I just hope Blake has developed better judgement.” She bit her lip, wincing at the implications. 

“I hope so too. Yang seems like a nice kid.”

With that, the conversation died. Blake tiptoed back into her bed, smiling. It was strange- they hadn’t even labeled their relationship yet- but she felt like Yang had made a good impression. As good as she could have.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of really want to wrap this up, so hopefully the last chapter will be posted by the end of my break. The next thing I'm working on is when they get together, and it'll be cheesy and beautiful and everything tropey I need in life :')

Another factor is the way Blake is sensitive about pet names. It’s easy for Yang to avoid them, but it’s still suspicious.

* * *

 

“Blake, darling,” Yang said, playfully, and Blake stiffened even despite the tenderness in Yang’s tone. “Want to bring me my book?”

“Um. Yeah,” she replied, getting off of her bed and going over to their backpacks. Yang watched her, watched the tense set of her shoulders. Blake went back, handing her the book. Yang caught her hand after taking the book, pressing a kiss to her palm. 

“Should I not call you that?” Her voice was so gentle, asking for a simple response and not an explanation. 

Blake nods. “Please don’t,” she manages to say, and Yang nods.

“I won’t,” she promises. And she never does. 

* * *

 

It had happened in the car one day. Living so close, Yang was happy to give Blake a ride to school with her and Ruby. It was Blake’s turn for the front seat, so she got in, setting her bag on the floor.

“Hi Yang, hi Ruby,” she greeted, turning to look at Ruby in the back. She received a sleepy wave, making her smile.

Yang always kissed her before pulling away from the curb, so Blake turned back to see her waiting expectantly. She leaned close, smile only growing. They kissed, and Yang was satisfied.

“How are you, my love?” she asked.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, she was just trying it out, but the phrase was a knife between Blake’s ribs. Her immediate mood swing was obvious, yet ever stubborn, she tried to hide it. 

“I’m okay,” she mumbled, sitting on her now shaking hands.

Yang shot her a slightly alarmed look, surprised by the drastic shift. “...You sure?” Blake only nodded in response, lump in her throat preventing anything else.

The three of them were quiet for the rest of the ride, radio filling in the silence. When they got to school, Yang waited for Ruby to leave the car, promising her they’d catch up before turning to Blake. She unbuckled to face her completely, so concerned.

“What just happened, Blake?” Blake opened her mouth to respond, but found herself voiceless. She settled for a shrug.  _ I’m not going to cry. I am  _ **_not_ ** _ going to cry, _ she told herself. “Did I.. say something?” 

Oh God, Yang was figuring it out. Blake nodded, the words spilling out of her. “Yeah, it’s- it’s the ‘my love’ thing. I’m sorry-” 

“Nope. Don’t apologize. It’s okay, kitten. I won’t call you that.” Yang said it as if it was the simplest thing in the world. She reached across to touch her face, making Blake look at her. Yang smiled, gently, and Blake pressed her cheek into her hand.

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

Something else was how long it took for Blake to be comfortable with Yang’s affection when they were around others. Yang forgot every so often, and felt terrible about it. 

“Hey, Blake,” Yang said, sliding into the seat next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek. Blake tensed immediately, uncomfortable as well as surprised by the affection. She sighed, shrugging her off, and Yang made no protest. She simply took the hint and retreated into her own space. After a moment, Blake moved her hand over to put it on top of Yang’s, and the smile she received was radiant.

* * *

 

Yang reflects on all the little moments as she turns onto Blake’s street. She can’t change the past, she knows; she can only do what Blake needs in the present. And if that’s sneaking out at three in the morning on a school night? She’s more than willing to do it. 


	4. Chapter 4

Blake hears the spin of bicycle wheels and the skid of sneakers against pavement. She gets out of bed, feeling woozy as she stands up, but goes to her window anyway. Sure enough, Yang is climbing the tree, slow in the faint streetlamp light. She does make it up, dropping onto the roof and coming up to the window. Blake opens it, and Yang, as one does when sneaking into one’s girlfriend’s window very late at night, makes a joke. 

Blake does laugh. It just turns into tears. Yang nearly falls on her face in her haste to get in the window.

“Are you alright, kitten?” The question is rhetorical; she knows the answer. Blake shakes her head anyway. Yang steps forward to wrap an arm around her shoulders. She says nothing as she guides Blake towards her bed, only moves the blankets so she can get underneath them. Blake immediately turns back towards her, tugging on her arm. “I’m here, I’m here,” Yang whispers. The two settle in underneath the covers. Blake puts her head against Yang’s chest, and she strokes her dark hair. “Do you want to talk about it or-” Blake shakes her head as vehemently as she can, nestling further into Yang’s chest. “Okay.” Blake inhales deeply, trying to get air into her lungs. Yang smells like the cold air of not-winter, not-spring. She’s chilly from the ride over without a jacket, but warming up fast.

Yang works out the knots in Blake’s hair, combing through the soft strands. She feels her shake with a sob and lets her touches linger. “I’m here,” she repeats gently, and it breaks her heart to know Blake is hurting, enough to let her guard down, enough to ask for help. “It’s alright, sweetheart,” she murmurs, continuing with “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” 

Obviously that means something to her, because she gasps for breath, tears intensifying. “Really?” She asks. The question is a knife in Yang's heart.

“Of course,” she says. “Nothing is going to happen to my beautiful, perfect, amazing girlfriend while I’m around.” The vibration of her voice through her chest is soothing. What she's saying is even more so. Blake buries her face in her shirt, tears slipping out. Yang’s grip on her waist tightens. She talks some more, whispering mostly sweet nothings of “It’s okay, you’re okay, I love you”. But Blake fixates on something she says: “You're going to go to college, and do such amazing things, and I'm gonna be there too, and no one is ever going to hurt you with me around.”

The fact that Yang sees a future for them, the fact that Yang wants to stay with her, it's the best and worst of things. Blake loves the idea, loves the idea of a sunny little apartment with her, loves the idea of having someone to go home to. Part of her- most of her- is dead set on convincing her she doesn’t deserve that, doesn’t deserve the love Yang so freely gives. She sobs at the thought. Yang strokes her hair when she feels her body shake, sighing gently. “Blake, you’re gonna make yourself sick, please breathe for me, kitten.”

Blake takes in a shuddering breath. Something in her chest, underneath the pain, glows when Yang praises her softly with “That’s a good girl, can you do it again?” Slowly, she starts to breathe evenly, Yang’s warm hands on her back helping her calm down.

She doesn’t know how long they lie there together. Her tears slow, her sobs subside. “I love you,” Yang repeats, and Blake has the feeling she’ll never be able to hear the phrase enough times. 

“I love you too.” Yang pulls her closer and Blake falls into a doze, until her phone begins to vibrate and chime with her school alarm. She presses herself closer to Yang, chest moving with a deep, tearful sigh.

“Do you want to stay home from school? Take a mental health day?”

“Yeah,” she whispers. “I do.”

“I wish I could stay with you, kitten,” Yang says softly.

“No, it's okay,” Blake says. “Go to school.”

It takes them a few minutes to part, Yang sitting up to lay kisses on Blake’s face, Blake unwilling to let go. 

“I have to go, sweetheart.” Yang’s reluctant to leave her, but she has to take Ruby to school. She begins to pull herself out of Blake’s grip, slowed by Blake holding on tight for a moment to sit up and kiss her. Yang touches her face, touches her like she’s something precious, before getting out of bed.

“Thank you so much,” Blake murmurs as she watches her go to the window, tearing up again.

Yang pauses next to the window, yet turns back and kneels next to Blake’s bed. “Hey,” she says, brushing a piece of hair out of Blake’s face. “I’d do anything for you.” Her words are soft yet so sure, and Blake closes her eyes as Yang gently presses a kiss to her forehead. 

“I know.”

“I love you,” Yang breathes as she stands up.

“I don’t deserve you,” Blake replies, fighting fresh tears.  

Yang drops to her knees again, holding her face. “You deserve the world, Blake,” and the confidence in her words makes Blake’s chest tighten. She leaves a feather-light kiss on her forehead and gets up. Blake watches her leave, watches her push the window closed from the outside. She knows how lucky she is; she just doesn’t know how to deal with it. Blake closes her eyes and snuggles back into covers that now smell like Yang. Later, it’s easy enough for her to convince her mom to let her stay home; the hard part is convincing her that she’s okay with being left alone. But it does happen. Blake spends the day in and out of sleep, waking when Yang texts her every so often. 

However, when it’s lunchtime at school, her phone buzzes and it’s not Yang. 

[Ruby: So why did Yang sneak out and why is she falling asleep into her food?????]

Blake shoves her face into her pillow. 

[Blake: It’s complicated.]

[Ruby: I hope you’re okay. <3]

Blake smiles. It’s been so long, yet the kindness of her friends is still surprising. She replies with a simple “Thank you” and lets it be. 

She presses her home button to look at her wallpaper. It’s a photo of Yang and herself, of course, but it may be her absolute favorite picture of the two of them. In it, Blake is asleep on Yang’s shoulder, eyes closed so peacefully. Yang is smiling at the camera, but her eyes may as well be hearts, there’s so much love in them. There’s no caption. Yang must have thought it spoke for itself. Blake’s eyes begin to water- she  _ loves  _ her, God, she loves her. And Yang loves her too, and she can hardly believe this lovely girl is in her life. She sends a text to said lovely girl, and receives heart emojis in response. Blake closes her eyes, contentment making its home in her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and for leaving comments if you have!! I really appreciate the support. My next fic will either be how they officially get together, which like I said, will be cheesy and ridiculous, or a 5 + 1 fic that's set later than anything I've posted so far. I have to update my jaspidot fic first, so it might be a little while!

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I'd like to thank you all for the support! I'd also love input on what you'd like to see from this series. I'm terrible at requests, but it'd be interesting to see what you might want me to address.  
> (Also, this is the third fic I've written that starts like this, I am so sorry for my predictability and penchants for tropes. I'm the worst.)


End file.
